From a couple of my previous rants, you may have noticed two things.  The first is that I’m bitter.  I want to correct that notion, I’m bitter and twisted.  H G Wells once described cynicism as humor in ill health – well, H G would be calling the medics by now for me.  The second is that I hate the Greenie Do-gooder bullshit in the public eye at the moment.  Since nothing is going to change the bitter and twisted bit, today’s rant is about Greenies.

I hate the try hard assholes and uptight Do-good bitches who drive Prius’ (Do we need to bother reminding everyone? OK... Mad Bike Boy's comments are his own and most likely are not the opinions of the management or owners of www.themotorcyclereview.com or its affiliates... there we go, back to the rant. Ed.).  What is the plural of Prius? (Prii? Ed.), and did the marketing people take the word Prius from the root pious?  So, there’s little or no debate that global warming (I think it's called climate change now... seems we are cooling again or something? Ed.) is real, and in my view, sustainability is fundamental to the long term survival of our race, and the planet.  We are consuming resources faster than the planet can regenerate.  Who would have thought MadBikeBoy would have given a shit, but I think the reason I’m bitter and twisted is because of the lip service paid to shit which is just that, lip service.  There’s a name for the bullshit applied to sustainability issues, it’s called “green wash”.

So, the bitches driving the Prius' are sitting on the freeway clogging up the roading system with their green wash – if they gave a shit for real, they’d hand back their dishwasher, their GHD hair tongs, and they’d hand back their brand new cell phones (the old ones end up as land fill), they’d park up their Pious, and they’d get on a scooter, motorcycle, or bicycle instead.  I’m not sure of the exact math, but I am sure that making a scooter uses less resource than a car.  Especially a car full of batteries that get shipped halfway around the planet to the assembly plant.

Changing light bulbs and buying a Pious isn’t going to solve the issues that have led us to this place.  I once lived with a skinny uptight bitch who was doing a PhD in sustainability.  Who would have all the heaters in the house running full noise, with all the lights on.  Who thought public transport was beneath her, and despite spending 3 hours everyday at the gym staring at her own reflection would never consider getting on a bicycle as transport and sweating a little unless it was in a cool place to ride, like Holland.  It is this fundamental gap that leads to the sustainability divide.  I’d use the word hypocrisy, but that’d be rude and she’d get her Daddy who’s a lawyer to write me a nasty letter...

I’m like the old cat lady, I collect old cars and motorcycles, and I’m the patron saint of lost causes.  Doesn’t it makes sense to restore a 1960’s car than to upgrade a new HonToySan every two years?  What about actually washing the dishes, instead of using the dishwasher?  How about using a bicycle to drop the DVD’s back?  How about choosing an alternative to sitting in traffic in orderly queues for 40 minutes each way? (I’d recommend a liter sports bike, they’re horrible on gas and tires, but that 40 minute commute becomes a 7 minute experience complete with police chases and knee scraping moments).  My view is that it’s an attitude problem, a throwaway society based on rampant consumerism telling you your life would be better if you had the latest piece of shit that’s fundamentally no different from last year’s piece of shit.  The change needs to happen at a core, infrastructure and attitude level.  Changing light bulbs ain’t gonna do fuck all, that polar bear will still be swimming looking for a piece of ice to shit on.