Vincenzo kicked this off.  He cast the first stone in this battle of wishes.  My aim in this Rant is to once, just once, have a written submission that doesn’t require a disclaimer or advisory from the Editor that my views aren’t representative of anything other than the deluded fool who wrote the crap you’re reading right now.  But, knowing the fact that the Editor wears golf pants (and what exactly is wrong with my "Plus Fours"?! Ed.) with matching panty liners and I’m borderline feral, there is a certain inevitability at play...

So, here goes.

My dream garage would look something like:

1.         Honda CBX1000 with Performance Machine one off custom wheels, forks, brakes, and a candy burgundy paint job that mimics the original.  Tick.

2.        Confederate Wraith.  If you have to ask why, or don’t understand the justification for selling a kidney in exchange, then you’re a latte sipping homo (Did I put the wrong two Confederates on my list? didn't think so, the Wraith is equally badass! Ed.).

3.        GSXR1000, K2, poked and stroked with a Yoshimura full race kit, lightened everything, and folding numberplate. Tick.

4.        GSXR600 track bike.  Tick.

5.        09 R6 Track bike.  Tick.  Because you NEED a spare track bike, it’s written in the Human Bill of Rights act, just below the bit that describes marriage as cruel and unusual punishment.

6.        Ducati Desmosidici, over-rated and crap, but still fucking excellent if that makes any sense at all.

7.        A P3 Superlite for commuting and the shear magnificence that single minded obsession creates.

8.        A Jawa or Royal Enfield, any flavour would do (arriving at your garage presently! Ed.).

9.        A Lambretta or early Vespa, (Vincenzo, hurry up and help me out on this one).

10.     1967 Mustang fastback, notchback, and ragtop. Not yet, tick, tick.

11.     1960 Chevy Impala rag, tick

12.     1975 el Camino, tick.

Actually, it is my list, not a wish list.  I’m working through the list, and I’m quietly buying and restoring all the bikes and cars on it.  Bikes connect and move your soul in a way that’s difficult to explain rationally.  You will note that despite having ridden and driven everything with wheels, the list is really short, and it doesn’t include a bunch of bikes – KTM SuperDuke and RC8 for example (the fueling is just horrible), anything made by Kawasaki, because it’s all shit (you're shitting me right?! Ed.).  The new Blade is uglier than a redneck, and pretty much anything new coming from Italy is completely over-rated.  Ed, you’re reaching for that disclaimer aren’t you? (unedited bar spelling and comments... good work! Ed.)